Big 10 Football Tour

Well certainly there are obvious obstacles such as natural diasters, terrorism, & death, but what are some of the lesser known obstacles of us reaching our goal.

Several people we speak with ask us, "What's the toughest part of completing a tour like this?"   Or better yet, "What do you anticipate being your biggest obstacle?"

Well, at our weekly "summit" on 8/13/09, Wes, Jeff, & Drew decided upon our TOP 10 obstacles to overcome during the "real" BIG TEN tour.

Where's the fine line between steroids and Tylenol?  Honestly, an energy drink could keep us awake rather than our own body clocks.  Maybe we take some Dayquil for some cold relief.  Who knows what is classified as "performance enhancing" these days and as a result we could be suspended from the tour (1st offense - 3 weeks) for any drug that might help us get through our day - to - day activities.  Another scenario has us going absolutely crazy from hearing yet another report about steroid use in baseball. The ESPN crew tells us they don't want to hear anymore about it, but they keep talking about it!  Are we taking crazy-pills?!?!  If any of us look progressively bigger (and I don't mean our beer/brat/burger guts) thoughout the season, please report use to the Steroid Abuse Center.

Day in and day out, we wait for Twitter to go away.  It never does.  Heck, the Big 10 Tour has even joined Twitter.  Seriously, do any of us really care what Charlie Villanueva is doing?  If everyone else has jumped on board, then we're just as susceptible.  Obstacle #9 has the BIG TEN tour members quitting the tour to stay at home and follow everyone else's lives.  This will clearly be led by Jeff's following of Ashton Kutcher. Tweet on!

Has anyone heard the news of a tough economy?  Funny how things perpetuate when you talk about them over and over and over again.  We understand that loyalty is dead.  Our employer could cut us loose any day now.  When you don't have money, you turn to credit cards.  When your cards are maxed out, you turn to lenders/family/friends.  Once you've burned those bridges...well, things get a bit dicey.  Between beer, tickets, beer, hotels, beer, gas, beer-battered shrimp, and tolls, we've each easily spend over $5,000.  Clearly some of us will push on regardless of the circumstances; others will cry as they review their account balance and subsequently drop out of the tour.

So if you read books, you've probably heard about this new "Twilight" series.  If you actually leave the cave and comminicate with people, you've probably heard someone mention an Edward Cullen reference.  We're guessing that it's the new Harry Potter since fads only stay alive so long.  Blake is our most "actively involved in everything" guy on the tour, so actively involved in everything that we're not even sure he's participating in the tour...so you can bet he'll be a part of Twilight as well.  This isn't a knock on Blake, he's got quality game in basketball, tennis, triathalons, and more; so we figure he'll be just as good at knowing Twilight inside and out.  We still vote Wesley Snipes as the best non-tax-paying vampire.

You're minding your own business...driving down a suburban road talking on your cell phone when you see a sign that warns you of a deer crossing ahead, so you begin to start texting on your cell phone instead. Then, without warning, a pigeon jumps out in front of your car.  Since George Costanza has proved that we no longer have a deal with the pigeons, you serve out of the way and a Liger (that's a mix between a Lion and a Tiger) jumps out in front of you.  Ah, you were lucky enough to avoid the Liger, but then your car smacks right into a deer.  The deer has learned to take a hit over the years; gets up and runs away.  Meanwhile your car is rendered undrivable and you can not make it to your BIG TEN tour game.

We all appreciate our significant others.  Sometimes our significant others don't appreciate boyfriends taking on a lifelong dream and embarking on a challenge to visit all 11 BIG TEN stadiums.  This endeavour will have the guys away from their homes for 11 straight weekends & a lot of "pre/post tour" work during the week, which doesn't allow for a lot of free time.   The fact that we're visitng 11 college campuses and southern California doesn't make matters any better.  Here's to understanding and support from the g/f's!

Yep, you read it on our bios.  We live in Milwaukee.  Wes says that it is synonymous with the Star Wars planet "Hoth."  During the summer, you can't count on a sold, warm day of sunshine.  In the winter, you can count on bitter cold, snow, & lots of parking tickets.  Once October hits, traveling to any game is in question, especially with Lake Michigan and Lake Erie in the picture.   We'll have to keep our eyes peeled for iceburgs and glaciers along the way.  Believe it or not, the most at-risk game is probably the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.  This is because we'll be taking a flight from Milwaukee in late December/early January and General Mitchell airport has had multiple shutdowns over the past two years.

Wow, we thought deer could do damage...apparently Chris Andersen's followers can take down an entire US Airways jet.  Ok, let me back up...this is a football tour.  Maybe you don't know who Chris Andersen is.  The pilot who saved the passengers is nicknamed "Sully."  Sulley is the name of one of the monsters on the Disney/Pixar's movie "Monsters Inc."  The voice of Sulley's friend is played by Billy Crystal.  Billy Crystal once starred  with Gheorge Muresan in a movie called "My Giant."  Muresan played on the 1994-95 Washington Bullets team with 4...count 'em 4 BIG TEN graduates: Juwan Howard & Chris Webber (Michigan), Scott Skiles (Michigan State), & Calbert Cheaney (Indiana).  Coincidence?  I don't think so.  Clearly, the Geese Army have the ability to impale any one of our late 1990's model vehicle

While tailgating, we plan on making a lot of cheeseburgers.  What makes a cheeseburger better?  Well, bacon of course!  That leads us to the Swine flu.  Word is that this flu is only going to get bigger and badder over the next few months & with us being around thousands of people at a time; probably not a good thing.  & why fret about only the swine flu...with contenders such as mono, the common cold, "original" influenza," and the often dreaded "pink eye," this party could be over in a hurry.  Maybe we should buy a lot of those Airborne tablets...oh wait, they're a scam.  I guess we'll have to stick to a regiment of no exercise and a diet of burgers, hot dogs, coleslaw, and potato chips to keep us healthy. 
Even worse, we could spend our days playing the new Swine Flu game.

Many of you probably don't watch the Comedy Central series called "South Park."  To give you a little taste and quote Eric Cartman, "Haven't you a$$holes been watching the news?  Pirating is back my friends!"  Unfortunately there are no wooden legs, talking parrots, or eye patches, but these pirates off the coast of Africa are causing a stir.  Let's hope they don't try to loot us - because it would be a waste of their time; we promise you, we're not worth a penny.
Even worse, we might be subject to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Persistent losing, low attendance, and Pierogi races - all could be diasterous to our cause.

Some more clear obstacles, but they didn't make the top 10.  Nevertheless, they could slow us down.

*  Riots - these college kids get a little too excited when their team wins.  We could fall victim to a car tipping on trash can fire.
*  Chicago traffic - LA & NY get all of the hype, but Chicago traffic is deadly as well.  Unfortunately there is seemingly no reasonable way around it when heading east from Milwaukee.
*  John & Kate Plus 8 - The media and football fans may pay us no attention whatsoever as they eagerly follow this couple and their handful of children.  Our sponsors might stop paying us...oh yeah, we didn't accept any sponsor offers, so go ahead enjoy your television programming.
*  Employment - The pink slip is always a threat to some fun.
*  Obesity - Our diets sure ain't going to have us in any bodybuilding competitions anytime soon.
*  Miscellaneous Car Trouble - One of us drives a Lumina.  Another drives a Cavalier.  Both have over 100,000 miles.  Let the anxiety begin.
*  Drew breaks a finger - if this happens the blog is dead
*  Brett Favre's Return to College Football - If this occurs, we just plain quit.